The Ship Be Sinking

Mouth Almighty

Costa Rica 3-1 USA

I know the Ticos are damn near unbeatable at Saprissa Stadium, and I know we were a bit injury-ravaged. But, I have not seen such a listless, uninspired, you-don’t-even-have-to-buy-us-dinner-and-a-movie-first performance I’ve seen from the USMNT in quite some time.

I don’t feel the need to waste that many keystrokes on this shite, so it’ll probably help me focus my rage a bit to just list the starting XI and the bench, and go from there:

Tim Howard – DaMarcus Beasley, Carlos Bocanegra, Oguchi Onyewu, Marvell Wynne – Jose Francisco Torres, Michael Bradley, Pablo Mastroeni, Clint Dempsey – Landon Donovan, Jozy Altidore

Bench: Brad Guzan, Ricardo Clark, Freddy Adu, Jonathan Bornstein, Jay DeMerit, Charlie Davies, Sacha Kljestan

Well, fuck me…where do I even start? May as well go in order:

Howard: Beyond reproach. Was abandoned for all three goals and made some saves that prevented it from getting more embarrassing.

Beasley: OK, he had one decent game at LB against Guatemala, who may be the weakest side left in the competition. But, what we have here is a career LM who during his pomp was all pace and no trousers…the pace having long gone away due to his history of injuries. So, he can’t tackle, he doesn’t have the experience to position himself correctly, has no pace to assist the left winger and put pressure on the other team’s flank…WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS HE FUCKING CONTRIBUTING AT LEFT FUCKING BACK? The Costa Rican winger on his side (buggered if I know any of their names since Paulo Wanchope retired) torched him over and over and over. It was sad, really. Naturally, he played the entire 90 minutes with Bornstein on the bench. Now, I don’t follow MLS, so perhaps Bornstein is stinking out the joint lately. In that case, WHY IS HE ON THE ROSTER?

Bocanegra: A guy who has always been better at LB being played in the center because Jay DeMerit clearly hurt Bob Bradley’s feelings with an ill-timed yo mama joke or something. I didn’t actually see the first two goals because ESPN are lying liars and didn’t show the game they advertised (Really? You couldn’t move Baseball Tonight to ESPN2, or move the football there?), but he was ridiculously at fault for the third one. The entire back line was playing practically on the goal line for some reason, and thus the Ticos’ forward had about 5 feet of space to work with just outside the area. He waltzed in and waited for Bocanegra to get there so he could use him as a screen to beat Howard. Good goal from their guy, but tighter marking would surely have prevented it.

Onyewu: Didn’t fuck anything up from what I saw, though as mentioned I did miss the first half. He was OK in the second, and cleaned up some messes left by the clowns surrounding him.

Wynne: Dreadful. Absolutely stomach-clenchingly dreadful…I daresay he’s been found out at this level. Why wasn’t Jonathan Spector playing, or even on the bench? ARGH.

Mastroeni: Ever see a fighter get old right there in the middle of the ring during a fight? I remember the angry, combative destroyer in the middle of the park that harried the opposing central midfield into mistakes all night. That guy is long gone…he looked miles off the pace tonight.

Bradley: He’s been a revelation since taking the attacking center-mid role as his own (and to be fair, it’s obvious he’s not just playing cause he’s the coach’s son at this point), but he was fucking abysmal tonight. Before Boca’s exhibition of playing as far off your striker as possible, their guy went right around Bradley like he was a training cone. He also offered little going forward…his passing was atrocious.

Dempsey: I HEART Deuce…anyone who knows me knows that. I even got his USA jersey as a Christmas present last year. But, even the world’s biggest Dempsey fan has to admit that there are two Clint Dempseys…the energetic firebrand that shows up much of the time (especially for Fulham), and the lethargic lump that reminds USMNT fans of the other Clint we used to have, old Clint “Cletus” Mathis. Today was one of his Cletus days, and he probably should have been yanked off the field much sooner than he was.

Donovan and Altidore: With the level of non-service they got today, they are hardly at fault for any of this. Donovan took the meaningless penalty at the end calmly and with aplomb.

Meanwhile, Klejstan is the one that comes in central midfield when clearly Ricardo Clark would have been the better choice. When we can’t get the ball for long stretches at a time, don’t you want a DM destroyer type who can get it for you rather than put on a more offensive-minded guy who needs to see a lot of the ball to be effective. HE CAN’T SEE A LOT OF THE BALL IF NO FUCKER IN WHITE HAS TOUCHED IT IN THE LAST FOUR MINUTES.

I guess I don’t mind Charlie Davies coming on as the third sub…it was 3-0 by then anyway and his non-contribution was harmless.

I still would have rather seen: Howard – Bocanegra, DeMerit, Onyewu, Spector (Ricardo Clark can play RB as well) – Bornstein, Clark, Bradley, Dempsey – Donovan, Altidore. It’s not a great lineup, but probably the best we had with the pieces in play.

Anyway, I’m going to go to bed…hopefully I don’t have too much of the red funk on in order to fall asleep.


June 3, 2009 - Posted by | Other Soccer

1 Comment »

  1. It is only right that I comment on this blog. 2 things really quickly .. You should of put on galavision they were showing the game live also. u wuldnt have understood the commentating but atleast u wuld of seen the game haha … Hmm u might not know any of the CR players but u will soon. Especially Bryan Ruiz who started the 2nd goal. He was just voted 2nd best player in the whole Belgium league and will be sold this summer for the tune of about $12 dollars. Not too shabby. Well by this time i’m sure u seen the goals on youtube or something. What do you think of the first 2 goals now?

    Comment by Glenn | June 12, 2009 | Reply

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