To prove the below point…

…go down one post and read Brendan’s piece, then come on back.

OK, that done, here’s a real-world example that happened just today. If Birmingham City get relegated by 2 points or less this season, a certain percentage of the blame has to go to Peter Walton buying what everyone on the planet (who doesn’t know the words to You’ll Never Walk Alone) is saying was an absolutely egregious dive from David N’Gog. All of a sudden, Liverpool 1-2 Birmingham becomes Liverpool 2-2 Birmingham. Hell, if Liverpool sneak into 4th by a point or two, this will have been a major contributor as well.

Sadly, Not Yet

…because the same Armenian who owns the flag gave me an EVIL BEER to drink, which I believe was called Old Chub or some such, and which has ruined me for a day and a half now. I’m going to have to re-watch the shows, since all I really remember was a Rocky montage and the tragic doom of Harry Joe Yorgey. I will attempt to be a more responsible human being for Pacquiao-Cotto next weekend.

Boogeyman

I imagine that Brendan will be by at some point to go over the post-mortem of the Strikeforce show. Admittedly, I spent a lot of the time wearing an Armenian flag while drinking McSorely’s and conversing with friends…so, there isn’t much I can tell you about the Miller-Shields fight other than it drained much of my will to live.

However, what I can say is that I am now convinced that parents in Russia tell their children that if they misbehave, Fedor will come and eat them. That is a scary, scary man.

Fair-weather fans

Dear everyone:

Can we all agree to stop pretending that the Yankees have some kind of monopoly on irritating fair-weather fans who buy their official team gear ten minutes before the parade? There’s no question that the streets of NYC are absolutely crawling with them…I’m not disputing that. What gets me though is the sheer volume of whining and bitching and moaning from fans of other teams sadly bemoaning either a) the amount of money the Yankees spent to win the championship and b) the existence of said fair-weather fans.

Before I go any further, let me make it abundantly clear that I am no Yankee fan – nominally, I root for the SF Giants but the reality of my current situation is that baseball is somewhere between water polo and curling among my list of favorite sports. I care infinitely more about soccer, hockey, MMA, etc. I speak from a position of more or less complete neutrality.

That said, as a thought exercise, pretend you’re walking down the streets of Kansas City right now. Take a note of the relative percentage of people wearing Kansas City Chiefs gear. If you prefer, replace that with the Royals – they both suck and they both aren’t expected to win a championship any time this millenium. Anyway, call that percentage (x). Now, say the hand of god comes down and their next season plays out like a sports movie. Despite the wacky personalities and underdog status, they go on to win the big game…the Royals or Chiefs are now the champions. Now, do that same thought exercise – walk down the streets of KC, note the percentage of Royals/Chiefs gear, and call that percentage (y).

Y IS GOING TO BE SIGNIFICANTLY FUCKING BIGGER THAN X BECAUSE PEOPLE LOVE WINNERS, YOU IDIOTS.

And, for the record, spending money doesn’t necessary correlate to winning. It’s a necessary part of winning, but you still have to do it right. If you’re a Mets fan and you bitch about the Yankees’ spending, you’re a moron. The Mets’ payroll could still fund the administration of Guam for 6 months, but the Yankees have historically been pretty good at identifying value for money. Yes, they spend big, but they spend big ON THE RIGHT GUYS. While my idiots are paying a king’s ransom to Barry Zito every season, while they pay big money to stiffs like Randy Winn and has-beens like Edgar Renteria, the Yankees have gotten the right pieces in place to consistently contend for a title every season.

That said, I don’t want to be too nice to Yankee fans. So, I will say that the people bitching that it took them 9 years to win can go fuck themselves, too. Seriously, if you look closely enough at King Tut’s tomb, there are hieroglyphs that translate to “The Yankees made the playoffs once again”. All you can ask of a regular season is to make it to the big dance at the end, and no one has done that with more consistency than the Bombers. The idea that losing in a short-series tournament means that their salaries aren’t justified is just the stupidest goddamned thing ever. The year they didn’t make the playoffs, you can somewhat argue that since they didn’t do their job well enough over 162 games. Over 5 games or over 7 though, it’s a fucking crapshoot and wacky things happen. While it’s not as loopy as a single-elimination tournament like March Madness or the FA Cup (whose final last season was contested between Portsmouth FC – fighting for their lives at the wrong end of the Premier League table this term – and Cardiff City, who are from the second division), you’re still 1 or 2 bad games away from going home. That can happen to anyone, and it often does.

Long story short – OHMYGOD, SHUT UP ALL OF YOU.

Too good not to share

OK, look. Goalkeepers in any sport are absolutely bonkers as a whole…I know this from personal experience. However, this has to be the wackiest thing yet – a hockey goalie in Finland gets down with his bad self after his team wins.

I have no words.

#1 With A… Bullet!

Not related to sports, but:

As previously mentioned here I’ve been doing the law school admissions dick-dance of late, and have been waiting on my LSAT score from the September sitting to come back. In fear and trembling, as the phrase goes. Well, it’s back, and it’s… 176, on a 120-180 range. 99th percentile. Kick is up and it’s good. For perspective, check this out.

This is unabashed bragging which I don’t do often, but brother, today I’ve earned it. Today, for this little moment, I am The Man. Whooooooooo!

Deep thought

As Brendan mentioned below, DMX is trying his hand at MMA. My question is, what entrance music is he going to come out to? Is it going to be something of his? If that’s the case, is it completely badass or complete hubris?

If it’s one of his, is it Party Up? Intro? Stop Being Greedy? Thoughts like this keep me awake at night…what that says about me as a person, I don’t know…

Update~!

According to the Guardian:

(4-3-3): Szczesny (aged 19); Gilbert (22), Senderos (24), Silvestre (32), Gibbs (19); Wilshere (17), Ramsey (18), Coquelin (18); Sunu (18), Vela (20), Traoré (19).

Huh…knowing that Carlos Vela was available would have changed things a bit. Also, the club’s website sez that Kerrea Gilbert is on loan to Leicester City. I think they meant Gavin Hoyte, as written by someone playing Football Manager 2007 or something.

Vela will give the WBA defense something more to think about, so I officially change my prediction to 3-2 Arsenal in extra time.

Quick Cowboys New Stadium Review

Thing looks like it should be shooting down rebel starfighters.

For fuck’s sake…

Michel Platini has gone on record as equating the Chelsea tapping-up case as “child trafficking”.

Seriously, this is among the more disgusting turns of phrase that I’ve seen for quite some time. You know, it would always take some doing to top Sepp Blatter’s assertion that female soccer players should wear more revealing clothing in terms of idiotic statements from the game’s leadership. This, however, comfortably eclipses the mark. My god…child fucking trafficking.

For one thing, it almost doesn’t even bear saying that such a statement is insulting considering that what we have here is a very young player who has moved from one advantageous situation to another, even more ridiculously advantageous situation. The kids in football acadamies do go through traditional schooling as well as the education they get in football. While many will of course wash out, a kid such as this would come home to France in a much better position than he left it. This is hardly an Eastern European girl forced into prostitution, or an African lad drafted into an army at age 12 or 13. Seriously…child fucking trafficking.

But, if you want to put the GIANT WHITE ELEPHANT in the room off to the side for a second, this is a moronic statement even in footballing terms. Every year, slimeball agents scour Third World countries in Africa (and other places, but mainly in Africa) for talent, and sell them a dream of playing in the Premier League while they really end up in the Ukrainian Third Division somewhere. Actually, that’s if they’re lucky…even worse are the ones who end up travelling on a one-way ticket to France or Belgium or somewhere, and then end up not making it. How on earth can you compare going to Chelsea’s academy to being homeless on the streets of Brussels or Marseille or Kiev?

Platini was a wonderful player in his day, but my god is he proving to be an incompetent nitwit in administration, and an even more odious human being than previously imagined. Seriously, CHILD FUCKING TRAFFICKING.